So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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