How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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