There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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