Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
