Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
