His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
