We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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