so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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