So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would ride that face into the sunset
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
