we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
