words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
