We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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