I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dude. I can hear the air.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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