Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize