well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i love accidental penises.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
