I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
