4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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