belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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