my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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