They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
