are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
