You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
