Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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