There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think my tv is drunk
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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