we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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