shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
