The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
