I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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