This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
worst night to have a conscience
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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