Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
