A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
