Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize