You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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