Already got asked if we're dating
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
