that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
