When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
