Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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