I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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