You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Randomize
