well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
