So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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