Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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