We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Sober January is a disaster.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
