Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
