You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
