it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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