are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
