so that wasnt chicken after all
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
