I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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