he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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