You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
