"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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