She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
try to milk me bitch
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