After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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