i just wanna soil my oats bro
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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