Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
