Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
