ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
