i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
