There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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