I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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