just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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