Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
