I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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