I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
